The HPV Cervical Cancer Vaccine is the vaccine that pharmaceutical companies and Governments want all young school girls, from the age of 11 to have. HPV (human papillomavirus) is a virus that is present in most cases of Cervical Cancer and is sexually transmitted.

However, the HPV Cervical Cancer Vaccine is not a cancer vaccine or a cure. It is just a preventative vaccine for a virus that may cause Cervical Cancer. It is only effective against 2 strains of HPV, which cause 70% of Cervical Cancers. There are about 130 types of HPV virus in total.

The biggest concern is that the vaccine is relatively new with no long term studies having been done. Add to that the horror stories coming out of the USA from parents whose daughters have been disabled or even died as a result of having the vaccine and you have some serious questions about whether this vaccine is in fact needed or indeed safe.

Just read the comments at the end of this “CDC Report Stirs Controversy For Merck’s Gardasil Vaccine” and you get a pretty good idea.

Cervical Cancer Rates

You would think that Cervical Cancer must be so common and prevalent and almost epidemic that such a vaccine is pushed upon us so strongly.  Wrong.

Cervical Cancer accounts for about 2% of all cancers worldwide. 80% of these (that’s 80% of 2%) are in low income countries. If you live in the USA, UK or Australia for instance, the incidence and death rate is almost 0%.

Pharmaceutical and Government Marketing will only quote you the worldwide figure as your local figure is not so convincing. There are 300,000 deaths a year, worldwide from Cervical Cancer.  That figure is not relevant to you, where you live, unless you are in the third world.

More people die worldwide from drowning, falling or in road traffic accidents than from Cervical Cancer. Leading Causes Of Mortality In The World

Since the introduction of the Pap Smear in 1941, Cervical Cancer mortality has decreased by 74%. The test is considered the most successful cancer screening technique ever discovered.

More than 90% of Cervical Cancer cases are curable if the disease is detected and treated early enough. Yet, up to 11% of American women still do not have a Pap Smear.

Extending the screening program would do the trick, not a vaccine.

Cost and Motives

The Gardasil HPV Cervical Cancer Vaccine will cost YOU more than any other vaccine in history to buy ($360).

When Merck introduced their vaccine they lobbied to have it made mandatory (forced on you). Now, what were their motives for this? Not to stop a raging epidemic that is for sure; to make money of course.

This has to be one of the most stupid moves a pharmaceutical company has ever made. They showed their hand and true motives in the process.

There was major backlash against their lobbying of course and they had to stop it. The only state to make it mandatory was Texas where it has been suggested the governor has links to big Pharma.

What THE expert says

Dr Diane Harper is a scientist, physician, professor and the director of the Gynecologic Cancer Prevention Research Group at the Norris Cotton Cancer Center at Dartmouth Medical School in New Hampshire.

She was contracted by Merck (makers of the vaccine) to head the clinical trials for “Gardasil” because of her credentials; 20 years of HPV vaccine research and development.

She is internationally recognized as a pioneer in the field, Harper has been studying HPV and a possible vaccine for several of the more than 100 strains of HPV for 20 years – most of her adult life. You don’t get a better authority than this and the drug company contracted her to be in charge of the trials.

Even she says;

• There is not enough evidence gathered on side effects to know that safety is not an issue.
• Giving it to 11 year olds is a great big public health experiment. All of her trials have been with subjects ages 15-25. In her own practice, Harper believes the ideal way of administering the new vaccine is to offer it to women ages 18 and up. At their first inoculation, they should be tested for the presence of HPV in their system.
• The idea is to inoculate them before they become sexually active, since HPV can be spread through sexual intercourse. But that idea no matter how good the intentions behind it, is not the right thinking, Harper said. The zealousness to inoculate all these younger girls may very well backfire at the very time they need protection most, she said. “This vaccine should not be for 11 year old girls”, she reiterated. “It’s not been tested in little girls for efficacy (effectiveness) at 11, these girls don’t get cervical cancer – they won’t know for 25 years if they will get cervical cancer.
• “Also the public needs to know that with vaccinated women and women who still get Pap smears (which test for abnormal cells that can lead to cancer), some of them will still get cervical cancer”. The reason she said, is because the vaccine does not protect against all HPV viruses that cause cancer – it’s only effective against two that cause about 70 percent of cervical cancers.
• For months, Harper said, she’s been trying to convince major television and print media to listen to her and tell the facts about this vaccine. “But no one will print it”, she said
• It is not a cancer vaccine or cure. It is a prophylactic – preventative – vaccine for a virus that can cause cancer
• It is not 100 percent effective against all HPVs. It is 100 percent effective against two types that cause 70 per cent of cervical cancers
• It is important to note that the vaccine has not been tested for efficacy (effectiveness) in younger girls, she said. Instead the effectiveness was “bridged” from the older girls to the younger ones – meaning that Merck assumed that because it proved effective in the older girls, it also would be effective in the younger ones.
• Merck was required to put together a database on the effectiveness in children before Gardasil was approved, Harper said. But instead, the company put together four studies that “are not necessarily representative, and may not even have enough numbers to determine what they need to know”.

Plus, the vaccine is only effective for 5-7 years! What’s the point of getting it when you’re 11, you need it most when you become sexually active.

It’s just not worth the risk of damage to take a vaccine that is not necessary in the first place.

They are testing this vaccine on our daughters; the research has not been done

If you are not sure, before you vaccinate ask your local GP, medical center / authority for research studies done on 11 year old girls with Gardasil; there aren’t any. Say no to the Gardasil HPV Cervical Cancer Vaccine!

If you find this subject interesting then read our 50 page report about Vaccinations. It is full of scientific proof that you never get to hear. But it has been backed up and shown to be correct, even in court. It will amaze you. Get it here “Disease v Vaccination – where does the risk really lie?” or by entering your details at the top right hand side of this article.

Traveling with kids can be quite challenging. But it needn’t be stressful and with the right planning and preparation it can be fun too. Air travel, in particular with kids requires a good plan of action and the ability to think on your feet.

Having just done a 27 hour flight to Europe with an unscheduled 7 hour bus ride on top for good measure, I think I am in a good position to shed some light on kids travel. We traveled with our two young ones; Isa (5 months) and Deva (2 years).

In fact it only took two things to make our trip successful; a kids suitcase and a magnetic sketch board.

Kids Suitcases

Before the trip I purchased a kids rolling suitcase for Deva called Trunki. It’s luggage for little people and has a superb design and great colors too. It is very strong so that your child can sit and ride on it. But it’s not big and goes on the plane as hand luggage.Deva had hours of fun packing this in preparation for the trip. And during the trip it was a life saver, as whenever she was tired she would just sit on it and I could pull her along.
 
She was very proud to have her own suitcase and her own things, and I’m sure your child will love this too. Check out the short video below.

Click here to get your own Kids Trunki Ride-On Luggage

Other Things To Do Before Your Trip

Other things we did before the trip was to talk lots about where we were going. We were lucky enough that in the months proceeding our trip we had lots of visitors, which meant trips to the airport. In this way Deva got accustomed to the idea of flying.

Not forgetting Isa, but a 5 month old is pretty easy. We did the same trip with Deva when she was 6 months old and she slept most of the time. Isa did the same on this trip.

We also tried to give Deva a tangible idea of where she was going. We regularly Skype with Grandma and Grandpa and we explained to her that that was where we were going. She understood this quite clearly. On the phone in the weeks before the trip she would say to grandma ‘Deva coming’.

Then the most important planning aspect, what games to take for the trip?

Travel Games For Kids

We got Deva to pack some of her favorite toys in Trunki but we also bought a few new ones that we knew she would like. We kept these aside in our bags without her knowing, for when they might be needed. It’s a good idea not to pack things that are small and can easily fall and be lost under a seat. This concerned me as Deva loves to draw with her coloring pencils. Fortunately I found the perfect solution to this in the shop; a magnetic sketcher board.

Magnetic Sketcher

A what? I hear you ask, well here’s a photo of one. It can also be called a Doodle pro. It reminds me of an Etcher Sketcher when I was young but they only had round knobs to draw with, these have a pencil. Anyway, we gave this to Deva at the first sign that she may be getting bored on the plane. And she loved it. And the real beauty is that nothing can fall and be lost, the pencil is attached by a thread and you don’t need any paper.

Other Toys

We also bought a ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’, as Deva likes toy trains. But this was still in my bag when we arrived in Europe.

The second most popular toy was the phone. She has this toy telephone that makes sounds and has flashing lights. She’s very good at imitating Mum and Dad on the phone! She used this throughout the trip to inform Grandma and Grandpa where we were.  It was very cute to see her pretend to call them and tell them we were late!

On The Plane

On the airplane I ensured that Deva had everything around her that she needed. I also allowed her to pack her own things into the little pockets around her seat. However, the most popular thing was the remote control for the television screen. She loved this, once I had eventually managed to show her how not to press the button for the stewardesses it was all good, and was able to leave her to play with it.

The other thing to remember was to ensure she constantly drank enough water and that we took regular walks around the plane.

Tips For The Parents Themselves

Undertaking such a long journey requires a lot of preparation for you too. I tried to get lots of sleep before traveling, but that didn’t really happen. I knew there was the possibility that I may not sleep much on this journey and just having that expectation made it somewhat easier during the trip.

But, I did sleep whenever the kids slept. Martine decided the choice of films was too good to waste on sleep. Something I think she probably regretted later!

I also made sure that we were prepared and there was no rushing or confusion. The most important thing I think was that it was an adventure for us too and we were both very relaxed. And I think as a result, both our children felt relaxed.

Travel With Kids

From my experience I can safely say that traveling with kids can be a pleasure. Knowing what your child likes and dislikes is all you need to know actually. Knowing how they react when they are tired or uncertain and seeing the signs early is the secret. Be aware that this is something they’ve never done before and although exciting, can be scary too. And most of all, always talk to them and explain what is happening. For instance; why trunki has to go in the x-ray machine!

Click here to get your own Kids Trunki Ride-On Luggage

The Emoto Peace project is the brainchild of Dr Masaru Emoto, the author of such books as Messages from Water, Hidden Messages from Water & The True Power of Water. He has now created a special children’s book to explain his principles and wants to distribute it to every child on the planet, for free.

Click on the link at the bottom of this article to visit his website and to get your free copy of his book.

Principle of Messages from Water

Dr Emoto, through his work, has been able to show what affect music, words and thought have on water. He has done this by photographing the resulting water crystals. His basic theory is that negative influences impact water in a negative way and positive influences impact water in a positive way. You can see this in the photographs as either beautiful crystals or ugly/misshaped ones.

He says that every structure in the evolution of nature is based on the hexagon. And you’ll notice this structure in the positive/beautiful crystals. However, in the negative/ugly ones it is not present and Dr Emoto says that anything lacking basic hexagonal structure is actually out of accord with the laws of nature, therefore holding a destructive vibration.

To see and read more about his work view my previous article via the link below;

Messages from Water – Dr Masaru Emoto

How we impact water

Dr Emoto’s work is extremely important for the world. It shows that everything we do impacts on water. Water has memory and is sensitive.  We are predominately composed of water and the planet is mostly water, thus we impact ourselves and the planet by our actions, thoughts and words.

Water and our physical and emotional health

His work has far reaching implications. It shows that water is affected by us and in turn has an impact on our health and the health of our children. It actually makes sense; the more negative the emotions you feel, the more likely you are to make yourself sick. But it also shows that if you expose your negativity to another then you impact them too.

Our children are too young to protect themselves from our negative emotions, so we have to take real care when we deal with them. It is easy to think that they have no idea what is going on outside of their little world. But if we work with the water principle then your energy is impacting them, regardless of whether what you are feeling has anything to do with them or not.

Not only that, what you expose them to is also affecting them; television, dvd’s, conflict situations and stressful environments to name a few.

So, with the knowledge you gain from Dr Emoto’s work you can begin to view your actions in a very different way. And in turn teach your child these same principles and hopefully they will then interact with others in a much more positive way. Dr Emoto’s book will help in this task.

Our current World Picture

Currently our world is one full of fear; this fear is used to justify all manner of things from war to the production of more vaccines. And it is not surprising there is so much fear, you have only to turn on the television or look at a newspaper.

Media is obsessed with negativity and fear mongering, the same goes for governments. It is hard to see how this situation will ever change, that is why it is so important that we educate our children in this respect.

Children are our future and if they can use some of the knowledge Dr Emoto presents then maybe there is a chance of creating a more positive world.

Rice Experiment – try it with your kids

At the end of the book you will see an experiment with rice. There are two jars of rice, one with the words ‘Thank You’ on it and the other with the words ‘You Fool’. Every day the girl doing the experiment said these words to each jar, for one month. After the month it could be seen that the jar that had ‘Thank You’ fermented and produced a good color but the one with ‘You Fool’ became rotten and turned black.

This is a great experiment for you to try at home with your child. There’s no better way to learn something than doing it. In case you’re not convinced then go to Youtube and do a search for ‘rice experiment emoto’ and you will see many examples. Here’s one for you to view;

Messages From Water Children’s Book

To get your free copy of Dr Emoto’s Children’s Book visit the link below and click on “Children’s Book” and proceed to view or download it.

Messages from Water Children’s Book 

Further Reading

Below are some important links for further information about the wonders of water.

Hadolife
Office Masaru Emoto
International Water For Life Foundation
Messages from Water – Dr Masaru Emoto

Three quarters of your body is made up of water and 70% of the earth is also water. That’s a lot of water and it plays a huge part in your life. But you probably do not realize how big a part, until you see the work of Dr Masaru Emoto.

Through his work he has proven that water responds to words, thoughts, feelings, music and emotions. Viewed in this way, everything we say, feel and think impacts not only on ourselves but those around us.

This is article one of two: In this first article I will explain Dr Emoto’s work itself and in the second article I wish to promote the “Emoto Peace Project” which aims to bring this knowledge to every child on earth.

Dr Masaru Emoto

Dr Masaru Emoto pioneered the concept of freezing water samples and then examining them under powerful microscopes, and photographing the resulting crystals. The pioneering part of his research was that he could show how water was ‘shaped’ by words, music and thought, just by the shape of the crystals formed.

He has gained worldwide recognition for his work and has published numerous books on the subject. His books have been translated into more than 20 languages and he tours the planet giving seminars and promoting his peace project. His work was also highlighted in the film ‘What the bleep do we know!?.

Music and Water  

To show the affect of music on water he played different tunes to the samples and photographed the resulting crystals. The results were amazing and you could see the difference between playing classical music to the water and for instance, heavy metal.

Words and Water

This must be his greatest discovery about water. Dr Emoto would take two samples of identical water and place them in containers; he would then write a word on a label and attach it to the containers. For instance one would have the word ‘love’ and the other the word ‘war’. He would then photograph the crystals from each, the result was truly astounding. The ‘love’ crystal was beautiful and the ‘war’ crystal ugly and misshaped.

His books show all the different types of words he used and every time the result was the same. A positive word gave a beautiful crystal and the negative one an ugly one. Even in different languages! And even names, such as Hitler, provoked a very distorted and ugly crystal.

Thoughts and Water

He has even shown that prayer works. He took samples from a polluted lake in Japan before and after a prayer was offered to it. You will not believe the results!

These are just a few examples of his life changing discoveries; you will need to look into his books to see them all.

Here’s a video showing real examples of the above.

What can we learn from Water?

So how does the water know? Is it intelligent, does it have a memory or does it pick up the energy from the person observing it? Whichever one it is, doesn’t really matter. The outcome is the same; we can influence the water to such a degree that it changes the crystal structure of the water. Just by the words we use, the emotions we project and the thoughts we have.

Can that explain certain illnesses in the world today? It makes sense that if we feel negative, depressed or angry that that will affect the water inside of us. Which can surely lead to sickness? Not only that, if we use ‘negative’ language and emotion towards another, that affects the other person too.

Our children and their future

This last point is particularly important when you think about how you raise your child. With the knowledge that you affect the water inside you but also the water inside your child, you become suddenly aware of everything you ‘emit’ into the world and towards your child. This alone can change the world we live in. And if you teach your child these same principles then your child can take that knowledge out into the world that he/she creates.

This is the principal behind the ‘Emoto Peace Project’, in which Dr Emoto wishes to give access to his special children’s book on Water, to every child on the planet, for free. For details read;

Emoto Peace Project

In the meanwhile here is a personal message from Dr Emoto himself.

Further Reading

Below are some important links for further information about the wonders of water.

Hadolife
Office Masaru Emoto
International Water For Life Foundation
Emoto Peace Project

Teaching your child to fall asleep by herself is one of the most challenging things you will come across in life. There are many accepted methods for this ‘training’ from the Ferber Method to Cry It Out (CIO). The Ferber Sleep Method is apparently not CIO, but it might as well be. These types of training are more akin to training an animal than a child. In fact I wouldn’t even treat an animal like this! Thank fully there are more positive and compassionate ways to work with your child to help her to learn how to fall asleep. However, it takes a lot of time, commitment and perseverance.

The Ferber Method

The Ferber method is supposed to teach the baby how to soothe herself to sleep. It involves first going through a bedtime routine (bath, reading a book etc.) and then putting the child to bed and leaving the room. You then let the child cry for 3-5 minutes before returning to comfort her without picking her up. You then leave quickly, and return after progressively longer intervals (10 minutes then 20 minutes etc). All the time the child cries for these long periods. Eventually the child falls asleep.

The idea that a distressed and crying child will soothe herself to sleep is absurd. Coming back into a room where a child is so disturbed and thinking that you are comforting her just by your presence and not picking her up, is equally absurd. The method to return and pat her and then leave again is there just to make you feel better about abandoning her in the first place, which is what you have done. You are not reassuring the crying child in anyway whatsoever by doing this. If your baby is crying she needs to be held.

Through using this method your child will only learn that you will desert her when she needs you most, she will learn that she is alone and abandoned and that she can’t trust you. Does she not wonder where all the love you show during the day has suddenly gone? And what she has done to make you act in such a horrible and unloving manner? She is a sensitive soul and feels emotions, even at a young age. What damage do you do by being so cruel? You have no idea and nor has anyone else because no long term studies have ever been done. She stops crying because she gives up on YOU, she is alone.

Proponents of Ferber are all too quick to champion the method but don’t forget Ferber was not trained in mental health or infant psychology. In fact Richard Ferber himself acknowledges, the Ferber method doesn’t teach kids HOW to fall asleep on their own (Ferber 2006). Kids are simply denied access to their parents, and left to work it out for themselves.

Look deep into your heart and soul and tell me that the cry of your child doesn’t rip your heart apart and then tell me it’s not worth trying something else in order to get them to sleep. I know people will say they have tried everything and that the crying method was a last resort and caused them lots of pain too. But no more pain than what your child experiences. Your natural instincts will tell you that it is wrong to leave them crying like that.

Waking in the night

There are even people who believe that they can teach their child not to wake in the night by ignoring her and letting her cry herself  back to sleep.  They think it’s a habit that has to be stopped but your child cannot wake herself on purpose in the middle of the night, that’s ridiculous. Night waking is not about discipline it is about the child being disturbed, be that internally or by external noise. No matter what, she needs a response from you, she needs to know that she is safe and secure. She needs reassurance, not to be ignored.

Alternative & Positive methods

Luckily for all of us there are more positive ways of getting your child to sleep.

The first method would be co-sleeping but I won’t discuss that here as most people who resort to Ferber would never agree with this, as they would feel that this would be giving into their child’s demands and reinforcing further problem behaviors.

The alternative method is where your child sleeps in her own bed and in her own room but does so without you having to leave her to cry to sleep. It is possible….

Our experience

We probably did all the things that the experts would advise you against. But hopefully that in itself shows you that you should not be scared or frightened of “spoiling” your child and giving them what would be considered bad habits. They will still end up being happy, secure, comfortable and easy sleepers. Plus, you will not have had to suffer listening to the heart breaking cries and screams of your little angel in the process.

Pre-leaving the room

Up until 10 months old our daughter slept in our room, in a crib. But would be taken into our bed whenever we felt it necessary, for instance if she was upset or teething.

At 10 months we moved her into her own room, and would have to walk her to sleep whilst holding her. She did not want to go into bed whilst awake. We chose not to force this. If she woke in the night we would go and pick her up and walk her to sleep again in the same way.

Eventually she started to get into bed before falling asleep, but we would still stay in the room until she fell asleep. And would sometimes have to pat her or pick her up again.

The time came when after our bedtime ritual (bath and then read books) she would actually ask to get into bed. And then as long as we were still in the room she fell asleep by herself, with no interaction from us.

It took months to get to this stage but this was the milestone  - she was now ready for the next step, to learn to fall asleep without us in the room.

Leaving the room

We continued to allow her to fall asleep, with us in the room, for a further two weeks.

Then, one night before attempting to leave the room I explained to her that I would be leaving the room once I put her down. And that if she was upset I would come back and comfort her and then leave again.

She reacted immediately and was not happy with it. I did not attempt it that night. She understood completely what I meant.

The next night I explained again, emphasizing that I would return if she needed me and that I was not far away and that she would be ok.

So, I put her down, gave her a kiss, told her I loved her and wished her a good nights sleep and walked out. After a minute or two she began to cry and I returned straight away, picked her up, hugged her and once she was relaxed, put her down again. And left.

Every time she cried I would immediately go back in and comfort her, hold her and calm her down again. Eventually she would fall asleep by herself, without crying.

The next day I would praise her for falling asleep without me in the room and explain to her that we would do it again that night. I would explain how it was ok and that I was always there for her.

She soon realized where I was and would sometimes start shouting out for me but not crying. Initially I responded to this but explained to her that I would only come back in if she really needed me. She understood the difference.

Sometimes it took up to an hour for her to fall asleep by herself. But I carried on, knowing that the time period would eventually reduce and that she would get used to the idea.

After only two weeks, it was done! I was amazed. I could put her down, give her a kiss and leave the room and she did not peep. Even if she was not tired, you would hear her talking or making sounds and then eventually she would fall asleep by herself. That was it, it took those two weeks only, no crying herself to sleep necessary.

As they grow older

To this day we have no sleep issues with our daughter, she is a great sleeper. Sure, sometimes she has a phase where she’ll wake up during the night lots or won’t go down so easily but it never lasts more than a couple of days. Inevitably something is not right with her, teething or not feeling well for instance.

However, we do not force her to stay in her bed. Sometimes if she’s upset by a nightmare or something else she will ask to come into our bed and we allow that. The next day she’ll go back to her normal routine herself. She knows that she can rely on us to comfort her in the appropriate way for the situation.

It’s about listening to your child, having compassion and being consistent in your response. We maintain a consistent bedtime ritual, so she knows we are getting ready for her bedtime. Sometimes she doesn’t like it but once we’re in her room she’s happy and goes down easily. Every night we read a couple of books, she gives me a big hug and gets into bed, I then leave the room. Sometimes I have to return but not often. She sleeps all night and we are a very happy family.

Our 4 month old is the same and has slept through the night since she was 7 weeks old. She’s in our room and we’ll do exactly the same with her. I would not dream of allowing her to cry herself to sleep, there is no good reason for it. She is so helpless and needs your attention and love.

We have two happy, easy sleeping children and we never let them cry themselves to sleep. It is possible but it takes a lot of time and perseverance. But it is the only option as far as I am concerned.

Studies of human infants confirm that crying is physiologically stressful-increasing a baby’s blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Imagine what impact prolonged crying plus no response from you, has on your child? Don’t do it………

Raising Angels is the goal we all start out with when having children. We all want our children to be happy, confident, creative, imaginative and fun-loving. But how do we actually achieve this? It may be easier said than done, but definitely not impossible. How you parent your child and interact with them will influence their whole life, and yours. Positive Parenting is the first step towards achieving your goal of raising an angel.

Our children are our future and it is our duty to give them the best start in life. This has nothing to do with material things. It is all about helping them develop and grow, physically and spiritually.

“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and dance” ~ Freiderich Nietsche

 20 ways of Raising Angels  

• Love them unconditionally
  No matter what they do, love them without conditions attached
• Show them affection – hold them, cuddle them and kiss them
  They need physical, loving contact.
• Laugh with them
  Create an environment of laughter, become a child yourself again. Laughter is good for the soul.
• Encourage them
  Give them the confidence to explore. Encourage them not only when they achieve but when they struggle too
• Praise them
  Whenever you have the opportunity, no matter how small the deed, praise them.
• Motivate them
  Combine the two above and tell them they can do whatever they put their minds to.
• Guide them
  Direct them when they need it. But not needlessly, they need to discover for themselves too
• Respect them
  Respect this beautiful soul, both in the way you look at them and the way you communicate with them
• Talk to them, not at them
  Treat them like any other person you would talk to. They understand far more than you think.
• Involve them
  Let them join in when you’re washing up, cooking or gardening. They will love you dearly for it,  it makes them feel they are part of your world.
• Play with them
  Be sure to make time for play with them. Your bonding will grow much stronger  the more you play with them
• Have fun with them
  Everything should be fun. Turn tasks into games. We all start out innocent and fun loving, keep it that way.
• Empower them
  Give them responsibility, they will rise to it. Begin early rather than later. Let them make choices and decisions.
• Protect them
  Make sure they feel safe and protected. You are their guardian.
• Learn from them
  Be open to learning from them, children are our mirrors.
• Let them be who they are
  Don’t try to mold them into something they aren’t. They are unique, let them grow and be who they are not who you want them to be
• Thank them
  Thank them for being here, for choosing you as parents and for everything they do.
• Ask for their forgiveness
  If you have misjudged or criticized when you shouldn’t have, ask for their forgiveness
• Forgive THEM
  They will test you and test your patience, it’s all part of their growing. It is their way of learning what the boundaries are and of expressing their frustrations. Don’t taking it personally and be forgiving and compassionate. 
• Run with them, dance with them, sing with them & laugh with them
  Flood your heart with the joy that they exude.

Give your children two things: roots and wings. Give them roots to keep them grounded through tough times and give them wings to soar above everything, explore new worlds and fly farther than we ever did.

Communicating with your child is one of the most important aspects of parenting. Starting an effective form of communication right from birth is a must do, it is never too early to start. Not only will it make your life easier later on but it also gives your child confidence and a willingness to communicate with you. This will continue through the early years, into his teens and into adulthood too. Communication is the basis of an interactive and positive parent/child experience.

Early Communication

Most parents actually communicate better with their children in the first 12 months or so than later on. During this early period your child is totally dependant on you and you tend to ‘talk’ to him all the time. He’ll respond with smiles and gaga’s and this encourages you to talk to him even more. It is once he starts to crawl and walk and play by himself that communication can slip.

Your baby goes from always viewing your face directly, to seeing you from different angles. He has to now decipher your words from a different view point. This is not a negative thing as it helps him learn about emotions and tones. He’ll soon learn to tell from the tone of your voice what you mean.

At this stage it is so important that you are aware of this fact. Be conscious of your words and how you express them. Your child is learning your character during this time and if you are one to constantly nag or shout then this is who you are to him. You are defining yourself now, in his eyes.

Once he is crawling and walking remember to come down to his level. Do not stand above and over him all the time. Engage with him at face level and be genuinely interested in what he is trying to convey.

It is also important that you talk to your child and not at him. Encourage him to respond in whatever form he wishes to. As a baby, there will be lots of gaga stuff. You can do that too but continue to talk normally also. He’ll start to input everything from an early age and he will begin to understand you much earlier than you can ever imagine.

Gesturing

When you are talking about things, point at the objects too. Your child will pick this up and this will be one of the first things he will be able to use to explain himself to you. He will create his own form of sign language for you to follow. In this way he will be able to ‘talk’ to you way before he can actually talk.

Once our first daughter started to walk she also began to point and gesture to explain herself. For instance she would crouch and pat the floor with her hand when she wanted you to follow her. I never showed her this; it was something she invented herself.

Speaking

Similarly your child will start making up his own words, thinking that he is saying what you normally say but you may in fact have no idea what he is saying. But if you’ve taught him to physically point things out, he will easily explain himself when you ask him to.

Young children have an amazing capacity for learning. Our two year old only speaks a few words but understands absolutely everything, in two languages! We speak Dutch and English to her and you can give her an instruction in either language and she understands. We spoke to her from day one using both languages.

Don’t Ignore Him

When your child wants something and you don’t understand, it is vitally important you don’t let that situation go. By stopping and engaging and finding out sincerely what your child is trying to convey to you, you are telling him you care.  This stage in life sets him up forever. If he is constantly trying to get your attention and failing he’ll learn that communication with you is ineffective.

I see all too often parents ignoring their children when they are tugging at their sleeves saying ‘mummy, mummy’.  By ignoring your child you are giving the wrong messages and setting the roots for miscommunication in the future. What you do now affects your whole future together. Even if you’re talking to others and your child is seeking attention, stop for a second and explain to them that you are busy and that you’ll be with him soon, don’t just ignore him.

If your child starts to ignore what you say and doesn’t even listen then consider that you have been ignoring him too. Maybe you have been nagging too much and he is becoming ‘deaf’ to you. Children can give us great lessons about ourselves if we’re open to it.

Encouragement and Explanations

Once your child starts to talk, encourage him and join in and help him. He loves to learn and especially loves to have your approval. Use this. Certainly in discipline areas talking and listening is going to help you both. Continue to talk and explain things, always. Make sure you reinforce his attempts at communication with cuddles and praise.

If I think about it I constantly talk and explain things to my child. And I never let anything go. If my child has done something wrong I will persevere until she looks at me and listens to what I have to say. Even if she doesn’t understand she gets the idea you are explaining something important. This realization alone aids her in differentiating between my  ’voices’.

By always listening and showing interest your child will be more inclined to communicate with you. It starts at an early age but you have set the roots for continued communication at this stage already.

To summarize; 

• Start talking to your child from an early age
• Be conscious of the tones of voice you use
• Go down to his level to talk, face to face
• Talk to him and not at him
• Encourage him to point and explain what he means
• Always explain everything
• Don’t slip into a habit of ignoring

If you use these few simple steps you’ll master the art of knowing how to listen so your child will talk and talk so your child will listen.

What influence do video games really have on our children? Do they have any beneficial effects or do they just take away the child’s own ability to be creative and fun finding? Do they expose our children to mindless violence and mindless play? These and many other questions should be considered by every parent.

Educational video games for kids are of course beneficial, it’s the violent and monotonous ones that we should be cautious of.

There are constant questions these days about why there is so much conflict in the world, why children behave so badly and why new generations seem to be more violent than previous ones. The answer lies in what we have allowed our children to be exposed to and how we have parented them.

Obviously video games cannot be singled out but they have an influence, a much greater influence than you imagine. Aside from the content factor of the video games there is the anti-social factor of playing them. Playing video games is hardly a social experience and they take away important time that should be spent with the parents, playing with other children or engaging in creative endeavors.

It is bad enough that the television holds a central place in most households these days but add to that the child having their own DVD player, computer and video game machine and you’re left with no quality time with your child. Who is raising the child? How can you expect to exert a positive influence on your child in such an environment?

In a society where parents already have so little time it is easy to let your child go and play with these things and be out of the way. It’s not something most parents do intentionally but it is something that parents should be conscious of.

The other option of course takes time; which involves going out to play with your child and experience your environment, and to partake in activities inside and outside of the home, together. It takes time and commitment but that is what parenting is all about, parenting starts when your baby is born and continues for a LONG time.

In a survey from Microsoft reported this week in the Independent newspaper, they stated that this however was not the case, citing the following statistics from their survey;

• 61% of parents considered video games a great social experience and
• 52% believe they bring families closer together

This is of course flies in the face of what I have said above but you have to remember that Microsoft do manufacture the Xbox360.

However, if those statistics are true then it is even more concerning. Those parents seriously believe that playing video games brings their family closer together and is beneficial to their child!

There was another statistic in the report that gave an even more concerning outlook and that was;

• 64% allowed their kids to play games which have a higher age rating than they should be allowed

It is seriously irresponsible to allow kids to play games which are higher age rated than them. The ratings themselves are already questionable without letting even younger children be exposed to these games.

The choice of entertainment out of a box these days is enormous but it is not a positive one. You not only expose your child to potentially aggressive and negative influences, you deprive them of time with you, the parent. You should be exerting positive influences on your child instead.

Video games will not go away. However, by being aware of their influence and how they affect your household dynamic you can limit the damage they do.

In the process, by being conscious, you also create an environment that will encourage growth and discipline. Next time your child wants to go and play a video game think about how much time you’ve spent with them doing productive play. How much time you’ve spent with them bonding, listening to them and being an integral part of their life. Make sure they’ve had quality time with you before resorting to a video game.

Imagine a world where people tolerate differences of opinion, a world without terror, a world without conflict, a world without violence, a world where people respect each other and a world full of Peace. Is it possible? I believe so. Will we see it in our time? Who knows, but we can already begin the process towards a peaceful world, right now, through the raising of our children.

This is an introductory post to what will be a series of articles under the heading “World Peace”. In these articles I will examine the factors that affect all of us from the moment we are born. In particular how these factors influence our personalities and what we become in the future.

I believe wholeheartedly that parenting is the one major influencing factor in raising adults who can live in harmony in our world.

It begins with yourselves and you first have to create an environment for your child to grow up  in, that is loving, communicative and respectful. You must also ensure there is minimal negativity in your  household.

Once you have this in place you can then work on the raising of your child. Showing them through YOUR actions how to interact with others and the World.

Every aspect of parenting affects how your child views his/her place in the World. It is your responsibility to raise this child giving them a solid base to learn from and then to help build their confidence so that they can aim for the skies.

As an overview here is a list of subjects that will be covered by the articles ;

• Proper pregnancy and birth – nutrition, natural birthing, holistic input
• Bonding – Mother, Father and Baby. Skin to skin contact
• Being role models – leading by example
• Negative energy influences – television, arguments, stressful situations
• Discipline – no smacking
• Work – priorities and where your child fits into those
• Child Care – who is raising your child
• Education – when to start and what type
• Health and Nutrition – intake of toxins and illnesses

The aim of the articles is to show that if we actually put thought into parenting then we can raise our children with a focus on Peace. If we become aware of what we expose them to on a daily basis then we can ensure we protect them from unnecessary negative influences.

If everyone consciously raises their children with a focus on loving and respectful interaction then we will achieve not only inner peace but peace on earth.

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
He a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.  
~Children Learn What They Live – Dorothy Law Neite

Do the two go hand in hand? No. Smacking is not discipline, it is punishment.

Punishment means you cause pain or discomfort to change the child’s behavior. And it works, in the short term and as long as you hurt them enough so they don’t do it again and as long as they’re scared of you. Read this last sentence and tell me it doesn’t sound absurd that you would go down this path as a form of discipline?  Where is the respect in this relationship? There isn’t any.

All your child will learn is that you will hurt him if he doesn’t follow your rules but not why your rules exist. Instead your child will find ways to break your rules without you finding out and will break them more often. And, what do you do when your smacking is not effective anymore? What’s your next step?

“All children behave as well as they are treated”

Doesn’t sound very positive does it? Smacking isn’t, it’s a negative form of discipline. Extensive research has shown smacking to be not only ineffective but damaging at many levels. It affects a child’s self esteem and how they view themselves in your family unit. So, make the right choice, decide not to smack and instead contribute to creating a positive, peaceful future through your child.

So, what really is proper positive discipline? The best way to teach your child what is right and what is wrong is through guidance, training and love. You also teach them and help them to learn the consequences of their actions. It has nothing to do with pain and punishment.

Your goal is that your child does the right thing because they understand the value of what they are doing and not merely through fear of punishment.

“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.”  ~Harold Hulbert

It takes time and commitment, there is no quick easy way. It also takes a lot of thought and planning and you both have to be on the same line, there can be no inconsistencies between the parents. But if you do the preparation you will succeed and you will have a very happy family. Deciding to do this the positive way is the first step.

You have to also make some personal commitments. Physical punishment is out, but also verbal, don’t replace it with shouting. You have to remain calm in the situations and go down to the level of your child. Talk to them, they understand much more than you imagine. Anger has no place in discipline.

It’s hard but you can’t be seen to ‘lose’ it in front of them. They will work off of that. And remember your child is innocent, they are growing and learning. They don’t go out of their way to annoy you. They are seeking attention, for one reason or another. You have to work out why.

But I assure you, the effort will be worth it and you will end up with a stable, confident and fun-loving child if you go for a positive discipline method over smacking.

For actual methods of positive discipline see our article 20 ways to achieve positive discipline.

“What’s done to children, they will do to society.” ~Karl Menninger